My 2 1/2 year old son, Evan, got a thoughtful card in the mail yesterday afternoon. It was the kind of mail that would make any mother proud. He got a cute card and some photos from two of his past Day Care providers from Maine. Filled with loving messages about how much they missed him and how they hoped he was doing well in Illinois with his new school. Well wishes for Mom, Dad, and Oliver the cat, were also sent along.
To say that I was surprised to receive this is quite the understatement. Not that it wasn't a fabulous place to send Evan, but simply because I was amazed that three months after our departure they were still thinking of my child enough to send a letter. *Brief pause for heart-swelling pride* Now, Brandon and I think Evan is special, but that's our job.
Maine was really difficult for us. Which being a native New Englander flummoxed me completely. Neither Brandon or I enjoyed our jobs - more about mine later I'm sure - and we had no friends there. Yes, I had friends in Massachusetts but that was still a 3 hour drive away and with a young child we did not see people frequently. So as soon as we could we took the opportunity and hightailed it back to the "Middle."
We realized Maine was a mistake almost as soon as we moved. I remember crying bitterly while unpacking our kitchen our very first week in Maine and stating that I wanted to "Go Home." Home being Indiana and no longer my native Massachusetts. The first house was an unimaginable disaster - that's what we get for renting a place sight unseen. Buying a house was truly the only option and while it's a lovely place, it remains an albatross around my neck tying me to a place where I never wished to be.
So that's why we risked our health and sanity and drove across the ice-slicked interstates in January to get to this spot in Northern Illinois. Is it perfect? Not yet. And I'm not really seeking perfection. So how can I be certain that this move isn't also a mistake and that we won't move again in 3-5 years time? I can't. But I'm trying to learn from past mistakes, to not set timelines, and to trust my gut instincts. So here's to the "Middle" and for trying things again.
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I drove through your albatross yesterday and thought of you...I hope you are able to sell the place soon and move forward in IL! It's also a great excuse to go visit you, Chicago is one of my favorite cities!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you, Brandon and Evan!
-Deb
Hugs...always hugs!! I'll email you soon and tell you about my struggle. Similar..we might both benefit from it. Hope to see you soon!
ReplyDeleteSince I've met your wonderful son I can only imagine how much his daycare providers would miss him after spending so much time with him. He truly is a joy. I only spent 3 days with him and I still miss him (and you & Brandon too of course).
ReplyDeleteOne never knows if a decision is a mistake. You just have to go with your 'gut' and make the best of the situation. I think you two are doing just that this time.